Thursday, June 2, 2011

Pages from a Dairy: Old flame flares.

August Xth, 200X.
He told me it was purely platonic, at least that was the vibes he gave, that it was going to be nothing intimate like we used to. He made promises, as he usually does...
One thing lead to another, so fast that I barely remembered it happening...he seemed deceptive with all he did, the drinks, the card, the people, the expressions, his words...
Then, there we were at his condo...after the dinner..he cleared the plates......then he went against his own words...we kissed...he begged...he got angry...he got hurt.
It all dawned on me, I regretted what a tease I had been in the past, for never taking us serious. He refused to take me home...a strategy for me to spend the night...I pulled MY own with him, lied that I would be back on Saturday night to spend the weekend since my man was away. He exploded, lit his cigaratte and walked to his car. As he started the car, Lurther Vandross's "If I didn't know better" played, he sighed and swiftly changed it to a rap.

He drove so fast, as he smoked so fast, he cursed, he shook his head in disbelief, he sighed, told me he has waited all these years to get me back, to start from where we stopped.
There and then, it all hit me that he was only in lust with me, never in love.
When he pulled up in front of my hostel, I pulled him close to me and gave him the lightest wet kiss we ever shared. I could see the spark building up in his eyes. Then I broke the silence, "Tee, you need to stop coming around, I'm happy now."
With that I stepped out of the car and walked towards the hostel entrance, I could feel his glare on me...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Di's Survival Kit.

As you embark the real world have these stuffs at all times :)

TOOTHPICK: To remind you to pick out the good qualities in others.
RUBBER BAND: To remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you want, but they will work out.

BANDAGE: To remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or those of someone else.

PENCIL: To remind you to list your blessings everyday.

ERASER: To remind you that everyone makes mistakes and thats OK.

CHEWING GUM:  To remind you to stick with your dreams and you can accomplish them.

CANDY KISS: To remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday.

TEA BAG: To remind you to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings.

With me or without me...

'With or without me ? ', the intriguing question in the movie 'Knight & Day'.
As we get older, the essence and need for a genuine companionship becomes more acknowledged. Teensy fantasies starts to fade slowly as you grow into the not-so-perfect world . Suprisingly, more people get hurt than soothed, more heartbreaks than heartmends and more short-terms than forevers. It makes one ponder on the progess of relationships and marriages over the centuries and in the future.  

Heartbreak is something no one willingly wants to experience. People would act irrational, stay put in an abusive relationships, throw a blind eye to the happenings around them, deny they are hurting, get laid with people they really don't give a hoot about or rush into a rebound relationship  just not to be emotionally crumbled. Everyone dreads that sad ache.

Well, one needs to know the worth of what they are fighting for. Is it worth it, the relationship you are trying so hard to nuture and keep ? Does a heartbreak (which is only a passing phase) worth your future happiness? No one said the decision is easy most times, but your happiness and contentment should be your upmost concern, don't sweep all your dreams and self-esteem under the carpet just to work on your partner's dreams. It's admirable to be selfless but no relationship should strip you of your self and your dreams ! Life is full of choices and those choices are what defines you, so can you live with or without your partner?

Quote: 'I asked God to give me hapiness, God said: "No. I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you." '